For questions regarding your new last name, make sure to inquire with airlines and cruise ships, the marriage bureau, TSA, and U.S. Immigration before you depart. it will be hyphenated at the least. But think of it this way: hyphenating both partners' last names can be incredibly meaningful for a woman whose traditional family has no sons to carry on their last name.". Speaking of units, a shared last name can help create a sense of family identity, should you decide to have children. Now, when people realize my kids have a different last name than my husband and I, the most frequent question we get is “What will your sons do when they get married and have kids?” To that I respond, “We trust they’ll figure it out, at least by the second try, just like we did.”, Read more: But giving our kids different last names didn’t seem like an option. John Smith Jones); however, on our second child, the two names (middle and last) were registered under the last name only. Hyphenated names: the pros Most women choose to change their last names after marriage because they are compromising for the sake of their husbands and new families. We made calls, corrected and spent far too much time explaining not only that our kids really did have two last names, but why we’d chosen to name them something so inconvenient for everyone else. COVID-19 Update: Due to high demand, NewlyNamed Boxes may take up to two business days to ship. This is also called a double surname. Next, the hospital sent us two bills for his birth, one with the first half of his last name, the other with the second. If your children are using your new name, check-in with their school teachers, dentist and doctor's offices, etc. This application becomes the legal marriage document after the wedding. If you don't get this right, you may have to spend time and money petitioning the courts for a legal name change after the marriage. If they use one name or the other, offer a polite correction and a warm smile. (It seemed unfair to erase half of his history just because we wanted things to be simple.) In many states, when you fill out your application for your marriage license, you’ll be writing your intended married name on that application. I hyphenated my kid's last name—four years later, I changed my mind. We spent months debating what our kids’ new, single last name would be. Pros of Keeping Your Last Name: It keeps your professional identity consistent In the age of the Internet, a lot of our accomplishments and our digital footprint make up who we are, and unfortunately, it can be a little tricky to track that after a name change. So one child has … Hyphenate your name, or both of you can hyphenate your names. Parents invented over 1,000 new baby names in 2017. Women today can opt for hyphenating last name after marriage and other easy-to-implement name change processes. You’ll probably have a different last name than your children. Another potential con is when it comes to your children. Instead of hyphenating our last names, we decided to use one last name as a middle name (i.e. Pros: One way to get around hyphens yet honor both parents is to create a new name from both parents' last names. Pros and Cons of Hyphenating Name After Marriage. This is especially true if the child hasn’t started school yet. We brought a certified copy of his birth certificate and travel wasn’t a problem. Hyphenating last name after marriage: the pros and cons The legal formalities regarding the change of name after marriage have certainly changed over the years. accomplishments which you have gained before your marriage. Turns out a having a hyphenated name is a real pain. When I brought this up to my husband, he agreed without a moment’s hesitation. 11 comments. A hyphenated last name is when you and your spouse combine both of your last names with a hyphen. Deciding to keep or change your last name—and the time to think about your surname is well before the ceremony. In Victorian times, the hyphenated, or what is also called the double-barreled surname, became more popular and gradually the practice has moved from upper-crust Brits to anyone. Valerie Freeman is the founder of Betty Lu Paperie and a member of The Cultivated Creative and Stationer's Summit. It becomes a legal document after the marriage when the officiant files it. Does the child get the last name of the father or of the mother? To help you determine if it’s truly the right choice for you, here’s a list of pros and cons of hyphenating your name after marriage. She has performed hundreds of weddings and is licensed in all 50 states. If you have children, which name will they use as a last name? Logistically, changing their names took just two visits to the county courthouse and $115 each. I still didn’t want to give them just one of our last names, but the unconventional idea of making up a new name suddenly didn’t seem so weird. A common name makes you more easily recognizable as one family. However, there are some drawbacks to hyphenating. With our baby’s impending due date, we were stuck on whose last name he would carry. share. hide. Here, parents who’ve tried some of the common options explain the pros and cons of each … “We had a non-hyphenated double surname.” Anna’s double surnames caused issues for her children, so she changed the rules for baby number three. Marriage Certificates and Licenses: Everything You Need to Know. The biggest advantage of hyphenated last names is the absence of having to choose between two last names. Cons of a Name Change First and foremost, it isn't free. plus, people are always … Again, my only concern with hyphenating is whether or not the names sound okay together and won't be too much of a mouthful. Hence the most important reason to consider hyphenation is your identity. Create a new last name by combining both surnames. Parents invented over 1,000 new baby names in 2017. Three years later, when our second son came along, we moaned and groaned in anticipation of another hyphenated name. If you decide that changing your last name isn’t for you, you still have the option of hyphenating your maiden name with your husband’s surname. That can make things easier when you go on trips, have to deal with schools, and even when you're just interacting with other parents. It’s not common to give a hyphenated last name to your children which means you’d likely have a different last name than your children. Pay close attention to your marriage license application. save. If you want to change your child's surname, there are some circumstances when a name change [1] petition will be approved without the consent of both parents:. They commemorated the combining of family fortunes and affiliations by marriage. Kid Complications. Take your spouse’s last name or move your last name to use as your middle name and add your spouse’s name.Â. If you are leaving for a honeymoon, the name on your ticket must match your current identification and/or passport. Those numbers are on the rise, which isn’t surprising considering the history of women’s rights. A Last Name as a First or Middle Name In my opinion, the pros of changing your name to your fiance's far outweigh the cons. © Copyright 2021 St. Joseph Communications. What Is Name Blending, and Why Are Couples Doing It? Michelle M. Winner is a luxury lifestyle writer and an ordained non-denominational minister. Another issue in many cases is deciding what the last name is going to be for the minor child. Whoa! We tossed around the idea of making up a new name, but that seemed too unconventional. I liked my name and didn’t want to go through the hassle and paperwork involved in changing it. At a pre-K orientation, when other parents began talking about all the paperwork public school required, I had an “aha!” moment. Why my two children have different last names, I changed my name for the sake of my kids—and I regret it, Whoa! but even once/if we do get married, i will not give up my last name. Once the legal name change was complete, most of the opposition quieted down. .related-article-block{display:inline-block;width:300px;padding:0.5rem;margin-left:0.5rem;float:right;border:1px solid #ccc}@media (max-width: 525px){.related-article-block{float:none;display:block;width:280px;margin:0 auto 2rem}} to make sure everyone has the names correctly noted in their files. We considered naming them after our favourite hiking trail, or the city we’d lived in and loved when our first was conceived. If you’re on the fence about changing your last name—you’re in good company! I also felt strongly that the tradition of taking your husband’s name was sexist—like an exchange of property. Your Biggest Wedding Etiquette Questions, Answered, The 15 Best Luggage Pieces That Will Make You Honeymoon-Ready, 7 Feminist Alternatives to Outdated (and Patriarchal) Wedding Traditions, Where to Register: The 44 Best Wedding Registry Sites & Stores, The Ultimate Post-Wedding Checklist: 13 Tasks To Do After Your Wedding. That evening, I suggested to my husband that we change our kids’ last names—and this time we would get it right. Cons: Unless your child decides to incorporate the other parent's last name into ... You plan on giving baby that hyphenated last name. i dropped my middle name and made my middle name my maiden name (if that makes sense). You have to change bank accounts, credit cards, insurance policies, medical coverage, driver's licenses, loans, property, car and boat registration, identification cards, legal documents, agencies and organizations, passport, and Social Security card—among others. They can be lengthy: Make sure you consider how long your name will be when joined together via a hyphen. It was her birth name and she adored it. It wasn’t until a friend who wanted to get a blanket embroidered asked what my baby’s monogram would be that I realized we still had something major to decide: his last name. How to Change Your Name After Your Wedding. How to Get a Marriage License in New York City, Tips for Filing Your Taxes as a Married Couple, Everything You Need to Know About Traveling and a Name Change. How Do We Monogram Initials for Our Wedding? Just as we’d been warned, the hyphen was a real pain. But finally we settled on squishing together the first half of my last name and the second half of my husband’s last name. By Julia Pelly February 14, 2019. Judges have done so in the past because the hyphenated name becomes a symbolic reminder to the child of his or her relationship with both the father and mother. It took us a couple of years to feel comfortable being so unconventional, but like most things related to parenting, confidence takes time. Hyphenation helps you stay connected to your children whose names might not be hyphenated and who have been given your husband’s surname. This practice began in the 15th century and was limited to nobility or those of great wealth. Motherhood had introduced all kinds of other unexpected things into my life (extended breastfeeding and doing elaborate song-and-dance routines to get my kids to eat vegetables), so I felt more comfortable doing something a bit unconventional as long as I felt it was best for my kids. The only decision is which surname sounds better before the hyphen and which should come after. - Page 3: my boyfriend and i arent married. .related-article-block{display:inline-block;width:300px;padding:0.5rem;margin-left:0.5rem;float:right;border:1px solid #ccc}@media (max-width: 525px){.related-article-block{float:none;display:block;width:280px;margin:0 auto 2rem}} ... Why my two children have different last names The new name felt both fresh and grounded in their history. Our team is here day and night to assist with your name change. (For example, the Helling-Coleman brothers become the Hellman brothers.). Cons: A hyphenated last name is sometimes long, and people tend to drop the second last name when space is an issue. Ideally I could get some advice and hear stories on here from people who can give good reasoning as to why hyphenating a child's last name is not a good idea, but I'm really open for any discussion on the topic. Pro child has both parents last name. 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pros and cons of hyphenating child's last name

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